I Love

I invite you to walk this journey with me for a while. I have been on a journey most of my life searching for love, wanting to know and understand this love, and only recently found it in the most unexpected place. Through my journey I often asked other people about love. Many responses were given about what it meant according to their perception - companionship, security, someone to come home to, sexual intimacy, procreation, sharing space, good feelings, belonging, feeling of family - but it wasn't enough. I knew there was more to real love than was being revealed. So I kept searching. Perhaps you too are searching. You see, finding love is the innate desire of all beings on this planet.

Most people search for love in the physical realm. You know, that zap of "chemistry," candlelight dinners, warm fuzzy feelings, making love, being together and sharing it all. This is love in the physical realm. Although wonderful and exciting, it does not begin to comprehend the vastness of real love. We all know that physical love can change rather rapidly - our divorce statistics certainly equate this - for physical intimacy provides only short-term gratification with connection that lacks depth. So if physical connections - whether partner/partner, friend/friend or parent/child - do not provide the filled up, satisfying, overflowing love, well then, what does?

The search continued. First was a long marriage, but the love faded away until it was gone. There were five children - they kept me busy and fulfilled and happy for a while it seemed. I was too busy to look further so just accepted this was it, even though I longed to know more. Funny thing though, the kids grew up and moved onto their own path, leaving me behind. I tried one business after another, did well in all of them, but something was always missing. I was empty and my soul cried out for that love. My face told the story of my heart's condition, for what one is on the inside is mirrored to the outside for all to see. I kept looking.

I continued my journey and some revealing insights came to me. I looked at other people walking past me or even beside me, and saw the same emptiness in many of them. I was puzzled, but also relieved that I wasn't the only one searching. Most were doing what I was doing, hurrying here and there thus avoiding time to think about the emptiness, filling their lives with busyness. Sadly, the more I accomplished, the more accolades I received, the busier I became, the emptier I was. What a mystery. It surely wasn't turning out as I had been taught - get married, raise a family, take care of everyone's needs, work a job perhaps, go to church, live by the "Golden Rule," give and give, and you will know love.